if anyone is reading this, you should move on over to

pathofthemaravillas.blogspot.com/

to read and keep up to date with the goings on in the travels and trivia of what i am

my time here at the orphanage is coming to an end.

i will leave here knowing that i have been a good person and strong pillar for this organization and these children.

i have lived through both good and bad times here and feel like i am a much better and more complete person for it. i wish to thank chele, arony, and wendy for always being there, for being so kind. martin was my best friend here. i will never forget you. neither will the rum. stefan and shaggy have been a great help.

in all, i came here not knowing what a family really meant. i came here wishing to find out what it really meant to love.

i have taken thousands of images this past year...something along the lines of 80-140k. of those, i have about 5500 which i believe are worthy to be published somewhere. some of those have made it here...many have not.

beginning in 1 week i will leave nph behind and begin a new journey. beginning in my next post i will start the story of those events. enjoy

A Padrino Visit

"Hey Benja, guess what!"

"I don't know, what?"

Her eyes, wide and squinty from the big smile she was trying to hide, let me know. She's never this excited it seems, not for Christmas, not for Olympiadas, definitely not for classes.

"Rupert's coming! Next week he gets here. My Padrino's gonna be here for Christmas, he's coming to see me!"

•••

It was a busy day at the airport. Plenty of Hondurans waiting with smiles on their faces, waiting to see loved ones, waiting to reunite with their family. But the light, falling into shadows here and there, beamed on a young lady, her brown toboggan and dark black hair glisten just a bit. Her smile reflects the sun everywhere and the whole scene lightens. The screen on the wall says that the flights from the US have landed...she knows exactly what that means.

"Rupert! Rupert!" she yelled.

"Mario!" "Alicia!" shouted others all round. "Toño!" "Maria!"

"Rupert! Rupert!" as she shouts and jumps the doors opened, people streamed out and the families waited patiently behind the little railing.

Amidst all the people walking a man rolled with his balding head and strong hands. As he moved through the door, lord knows that little railing wouldn't keep her from jumping over. And then "oomph!" And his smile broadened to show a tender love that each and every one of you should experience at least once in your life.

"Wendy, how good to see you!"

"Rupert, Rupert, I'm so happy to see you"

•••

A few nights later at the Christmas Eve Bonfire we three sat together watching the flames rise higher and higher.

After a time, I asked Rupert about their relationship and how it grew.

"At first I know that the Tías and Volunteers wrote the letters, but I could hear her voice come through the words. When I first decided to be a Padrino I also decided to learn Spanish, since then I've studied and written and read all our letters in Spanish."

Wendy gave him a flame lit smile and said "Rupert, I really do love you. I'm really happy to see you and feel so happy to be with you."

When they began their relationship Wendy was only 4 years old. She came here to NPH Honduras two years before after both her parents died of terminal diseases. NPH is her home and her family, and since that first communication with her German Padrino, Rupert, he has been a part of that family.

"As she grew and began to write, I could see that she wrote the cards, and I got a lot of joy to read them. But with such a large distance between us I never waited to get her next one to send her mine. I would write two or three and send them as soon as they were ready. And as soon as I got her letters I knew that she really cared."

•••

"We've gotten to spend some wonderful time here together. This is my eighth or ninth trip, but I hadn't come for two years because I wanted Wendy to have the chance to grow and have the space that she needed as an adolescent" Rupert said. We were alone at Casa Eva where he stayed. The lights, all artificial now because the sun had sunk down and Wendy gone to do more work before bed.

"She's tired, I can see it in her eyes" he said.

"But she cares. She takes you everywhere, brings food when you can't go and makes sure that you're always included in the activities. She loves you so much. And because of that she keeps going, keeps doing everything because that's how much she cares, how much you mean to her."

•••

When it came time for Rupert to leave, it appeared very much the same as he came, only in reverse. Wendy, hugging him, shouting his name, waving goodbye. "I miss him, Benja"

"I know, but he really loves you."

It’s that love, that connection over these past 14 years that makes this so special. Rupert comes here—to the other side of the world without a single expectation, only hopes and dreams. And they all come true. Like a fairy tale, these two people have grown so close together that they know what they want and need. They love and have loved, they've laughed and cried, and when the tears subside they still find it all so amusing.

When you wonder what it takes to be a Padrino for a child of NPH, when you wonder what it means to really care for someone, look to Rupert and look to Wendy. There, you will see how their relationship through years of open communication and caring letters, through hugs and tears, through wounds and stories of the other children, through the visits for Olympiadas, through the years of growing and learning, through all this Wendy and Rupert have found the truth of what it means to be a Padrino or Ahijada (goddaughter).

Here at NPH, Nuestros Pequeños Hermanos, a home for orphaned and abandoned children; we seek Padrinos and Madrinas; God-Parents to sponsor our children and be a light in their life where darkness once took hold. Rupert has been just that for Wendy, and there are many many others like these two.

rationing reality

Living here in Honduras I have ahd a special view point for much of what is going on both locally and internationally. Even before I got here, living in Chile helped to open my eyes to how the international table is filling out.

The longer I stay here the greater it seems the dangers seem to be building. The Mid-East is dividing itself up, between Israel and the US, and Iran. Russia and is siding with Iran, while, the US attempts to maintain its positions of power in Iraq and Afganistan (which just happen to border Iran). Just north of there Gerogia, and other small former Soviet republics are trying to distance themselves from Russia, where the Russians are building up their military force, to apparently quell the resistence that they are facing there.

In South East Asia things remain vague, for me at least, but I'm starting to get the picture of how North Korea and Iran are using the Muslim Background to create a more united dissident front, like in the Phillipines. Japan will remain allied with the United States, as will South Korea and Taiwan, but what China does will finish off the table. With China joining Russia the table makes for a very difficult time if war should break out. With China joining the States, the Asian Theatre will remain noticeably calmer.

As for the Americas I feel much more confident in my understandings. Mexico is and will be with the US, but the main problem, just like in other parts is the heavily armed and organized drug cartels. In the South of Mexico there are 30,000 troops on the border of the State of Chiapas. They have not gone in and will not go in until they need to. Chiapas does not provide a threat the the peace, but they do provide a link. Beyond Mexico is Central America, where the countries are dividing up. Costa Rica and Panama, with large interests from the United States would side with them, while Nicaragua, Honduras, and others would be much more open to siding with Iran, and in the American Theatre Brazil and Venezuela.

That brings me to Venezuela. Where they have been increasing their military power, as well as rhetoric over the past few years. Chavez has taken a stronger and stronger hold of power as well as a much closer relationship with Iran. Furthermore, it seems that Brazilian President Lulu, has been sticking his fingers into every facet of international politics as he now hosts the Deposed President Zelaya from Honduras at the Brazilian Embassy, and is taking stands in Israel's actions, as well as backing Iran. This tightening relationship between Brazil and Iran is just as, if not more important than Venezuela's. Brazil represents a much greater country with much greater interests and powers.

With Venezuela and Brazil united, and the left of Bolivia, Ecuador, Paraguay, and Uruguay coming into greater power you can see how these peices might start to come together. Peru also represents another country that would join into the Bolivarian Pact. However, Chile, Argentina, and Columbia would side with the United States, making for something of an interesting break up of the Americas. With so much Jungle the landscape is ripe for Guerrilla style warfare that no established army has ever been able to combat well.

This brings me to the greatest point that I have. The difference in warfare now. Before it was armies fighting armies. Civilians as casualties. But now, a changing of the guard is taking place. War is taking a more guerrilla style turn, with individuals acting in order to take out greater numbers. Its a war of fear, but of personal fear, not based on National Ideals, but based on the fear that each individual has for their own life. Also, if the Drug Cartels and Gangs which are rampant throughout Mexico, Venezuela, Columbia, and Brazil can unite, this brings a whole nother factor to how sucha war would take place. Just imagine, the Gangs of Brazil united with the States, while the Drug Cartels of Columbia and Mexico uniting with Venezuela. This could make for an entirely new playing field.

Strategically when you look at the Americas the point of contention is and always will be Central America. That is the door. And no matter which way you slice it, any global conflict will have a great focus on Panama and its canal.

As for Africa, I have no idea, but I think it would be a mix of forgotten land and resources like in Nigeria. I see the middle east, the islands of the South Pacific, the Korean Peninsula, and Central/South America as the greatest areas of potential conflict if this buildup of arms and tensions continue. Hah, let alone India, India makes for a great link between the mid-east and asia, their involvement with China's will determine the scale of what occurs.

the road already traveled

comparison time:

Zelaya is to come back through Nicaragua...I was just there and came back through a very similar journey.

First, he's coming from Managua (the capital), thats where my bus dropped me off. I shared a cab with some quebequios and got dropped off at a random bus station. ZERO busses to honduras. But, one bus to ocotal, about 15 miles past esteli.
Zelaya has a jeep. Which he gets to drive. I am jealous.
Of course, he spends the night in esteli, a more touristy and nice town with a hotel that might be 2.5 stars. He's accompanied by the venezuelan foreign minister, press, his wife and daughters.
I got off the bus and walked the wrong way down the street. Asked some people where the closest hotel was and they asked me if i saw the one that was literally about 15 feet from where i got off the bus. I ended being accompanied by a random korean guy with ridiculously long hair who had been traveling around for about a year or two in central america, and the weird brothers who ran the hotel. As for my wife and daughters? I had a bottle of the finest nicaraguan rum, flor de caña, lite...yikes. It was the cheapest bottle...and the only bottle ironically enough, that i could find.
Zelaya is gonna pass through the town of Las Manos...or "The Hands." When I went there i got lectured by some guy about how i was just traveling and that the central americans were smart for putting their immigration offices together. he told me he hoped that i had my 7 dollars ready to pay to enter into honduras again. that is until i showed him my fancy little card that says i live in honduras, and told him that i was smarter than the central americans because i didnt have to pay. i did, however, have to lose 5% of my cash when changing from nica$ to hondu$, but that was expected.
on a side note, i didnt have to pay when i changed my money from hondu$ to nica$ because i was rollin with the ingeniero who had passed through this checkpoint twice a month for the past 20 some'odd years
the ousted president will likely have a much different experience in The Hands. Most likely he won't be too preoccupied about changing his money and finding his next ride to Danli, as i'm pretty sure the guy hassling him may have a bunch of guys behind him with big scary guns.
or
he could find friends there who give him a salute and welcome him back with the protection of said guys with big scary guns.
whatever he does, he's a friggin copycat, and i dont appreciate it...that is unless i get some royalties when he gets his book and movie deals!

every event has its beginning, every event has its end

in the middle theres a wash of mud and dirt, blood and sweat--tears line the streets and you know at some point that the shouts you hear will be replaced by gunfire.
its not something that i want. i cannot imagine what it is like to live in the midst of war. what will these children do? when the embassy evacuates people i can leave, but what happens to these 500 children? do they just sit here waiting for the war to be over? do they leave and join the fight? its a ridiculocity that is completely inconceivable. have you ever thought about it? what would you do if you were in charge of 500 children and a civil war broke out? do you risk taking them to another country? do you cross the border legally? what do you do with the staff? they can make their own decisions, but when you're 3 hours from the border, and have to drive 6 big yellow buses along the highways filled with hundreds of orphans...what do you do?
i'm not saying this is definitely going to take place. but the talks are breaking down. the interim gov't sits there rejecting the offers and then the ousted president rescinds his own desire for a peaceful end. they say the talks are done. they say that the talks will continue in 3 days. they say they say.
but each side wants the same thing: power
you cannot get anywhere unless they both accept to remove themselves from such a position. which they won't.
the talks are set to resume in a few days. but unless the two sides accept their differences, nothing will happen.
and its when nothing happens that you have to be at your most alert.
i would be lying if i said i wasn't scared. i am. but i'm also enthralled. its life--in its most demanding and brutal way. life, at the hands of another. life in the palm of your hands, the look of a diplomatic eye, the tension of a finger building on a trigger.
life can end. and it just might. pretty soon. another protester death and this thing could ignite. its not quite iran, but i think people have a lot more audacity here, the two sides are more than just an army against a people. everyone in this country is armed. plus nicaragua sits to the south, and venezuela may come to aid zelaya as well.
in iran there are tensions, and people are dying, but no one seems to be taking a more rash and physical step from the opposition side.
here in honduras, the education level is much lower. the idea about talking can only get so far before a fight breaks out.
the students have been leading the pro-zelaya protests so far; but zelaya is looking to come back, and when he does, the peaceful students are going to learn a valuable lesson that hasnt been taught since the end of the cold war in central america.
the clock is counting. and i dont know what its gonna look like on saturday. i guess we will have to wait for satuday to come to know what it holds in store for us.
i do have this to say though. before everything gets out of hand.
hondurans are a ridiculous sort. they are some of the kindest and thoughtful people at times. at others, just looking out for their own best interests.
but the most telling sign, and the one that will ultimately determine how this all plays out is the hondurans ability to talk. they can bicker on the color of a t-shirt for hours, just to decide on the same color they use every year. this unbelievable ability to talk and talk and talk may be the best hope for honduras to find peace, or it may be the wind to blow over this house of peaceful (and tense) cards.

so you would think that a military coup would be a good blog.
definitely timely...err, not.
it happened a few weeks ago, and we're still trying to sort out the mess.
the other day i figured out what it is...
"its like you just broke up with your girlfriend. but you didnt really break up with her, so neither of you two know if you're still together or broken up. but you start hanging out with a new girl, only you're not dating her yet."
yeah, thats pretty much the situation here. its messy and ugly, but the suns comin up and there will be a day of pizza and photos, maybe even a pirated movie or two...depends on how the money holds up.